Monsterhood

Professor over radio: Im sorry skunk-ape. im not taking visitors today. i need to keep the lab hermetically sealed.
Skunk-ape: you okay, Professor?
Professor over radio: The pollen count is very high today.
Skunk-ape: you have allergies or something?
Professor over radio: er… yeah…
[professor is shown to be a bee]
Professor: …or something

Supercomputer: Ha! look! its professor bumbledore!
Professor: can it. i need your help with something. the dormant parts of my insect DNA fired up and now im turning into a bee-man. i need you to find out how to stop it.
Supercomputer: ok. but you’re the DNA expert… you cant figure this out on your own?
Professor: im having trouble concentrating.
EARLIER…
[science-y stuff scribbled out and ‘MAKE HONEY’ is written]

Professor: so, have you figured out how to send all these bee genes back to sleep?
Super Computer: well, no… but i am almost done with my plan to take over the world using an army of bee-man!
Professor: augh. i knew this was a mistake.
Super Computer: oh, relax. im a multitasking computer. that means i can work on more than one project at a time.
Professor: Are you multitasking on my project?
Super Computer: well, no…

Super Computer: ok, i have a plan. but there are risks involved. im twenty percent sure i can make you the way you were. theres also a twenty percent chance you become completely human… not a good look in this down.
Professor: and the other sixty percent?
Super Computer: well, theres a strong possibility all your bug DNA will become active and you’ll metamorphose completely. you’d become a giant bee. hey, look at it this way, you’ll finally have that skinny waistline you’ve always wanted! HA!
Professor: i hate you.

Professor: This ray gun seems a bit excessive… you’re not gonna double-cross me are you?
Super Computer: double-cross you? NO! Of course not! wait, what does double-cross mean?
Professor: It mean betrayal.
Super Computer: Oh. Then yes.
[Super Computer fires the ray gun and the Professor screams]
Super Computer: I was think ‘crossbow’ for some reason. i was all like ‘how could i fire one without arms?’ heh. funny.

Professor: Augh. what happened?
[Professor looks at a newspaper]
Professor: What?! This is eight years ago?! Malevolent Supercomputer sent me back in time? ok… stay calm… remain positive… his time machine did fix my insect DNA. I must find a way to thank him in Eight years. I think i’ll start by tearing out his circuits and turning him into an icebox!

Mail Monster: so you want to deliver this to eight years from now? usually people want us to deliver this faster than normal.
Professor: i know its sounds crazy, but its vital this package arrives at the exact date and time i told you.
Mail Monster: ok! ok!
Professor: i dont understand. i sent the package. i should
8 YEARS LATER
Skunk-ape: i cant get the tape off! oh, i wish i didnt bite my fingernails.

Howie: why would the professor send you anything? he only lives next door.
Skunk-ape: its dated 8 years ago. macadamia supercollider sent him back in time, and now he needs me to redeem the process.
Howie: how?
[Skunk-ape pulls out a small device]
Skunk-ape: Using this!
Howie: What is that thing?
Skunk-ape: no ide. i was hoping someone would shout ‘of course!’ and take over the mission

Supercomputer: now, what would be the next point in history to take over the… wait, whats that smell? Theres only one odour so powerful, i could smell it without a nose! Skunk-ape!
Skunk-Ape: That’s right maneuverable supermarket! stop what you’re doing or i’ll unleash my secret weapon!
Supercomputer: What is that thing? What does it do?
Skunk-Ape: i… don’t know.
Supercomputer: where did you get it?
Skunk-Ape: From the professor.
Supercomputer: oh? then i’ll ask him!
[Professor appears]
Professor: good work, skunk-ape! you can throw that piece of junk away now.

Skunk-ape: multistorey suppertime knew he’d been tricked! that’s when he turned on his lazer-vision on the professor. i had the think fast! I quickly created a computer virus using a nearby terminal…
Professor: Hurry, skunk-ape!
Skunk-ape: got it!
Super Computer: nooo! i failed to factor in skunk-ape’s impressive abilitiiiies…
Howie: is that what really happened?
WHAT REALLY HAPPENED…
[Professor flips the off switch]