Non-Cannon Flan-Fiction
Von Krieger: Hold onto something kid. we’ve got a good old fashioned dog fight on our hands! im gonna need your local knowledge again. tell me about the Invisible man and his flying pumpkin… how much danger are we in?
Howie: Danger? oh… uh… HEAPS. i’d surrender if i were you! that guys real dangerous. and you dont wont to be on the wrong side of that cannon. Say, just out of interest, do you have any food allergies by any chance? custard? lemon meringue? butterscotch with a checkerboard crust?
Company Men
Professor: Robot! get out of here! its not safe!
Robot: im sorry professor… colonel Von Krieger has reprogrammed me to take you as a prisoner.
Professor: then he must know about my past. you see, i created the agency Von Krieger works for. that same agency will one day create you in the future. i guess, in a way, that makes us workmates.
Robot: yeah. well, i guess we’d better get back. old man Von Krieger’s bustin my chops to get this project in the can by five. man, i cant wait for my vacation time to come up.
Professor: i hear that.
He Has Very Accurate Sensors
Invisible man: Times up spaceman!
Von Krieger: Pies and Newspapers? seriously? You invisible imbecile! do you not see the lazers?!
Invisible man: maybe you should take a look for yourself…
Von Krieger: My Lazers! he papier mached my lazers?! You turned my weapons into a kindergarten craft project!
Henry: second grade actually. let’s negotiate.
Library Girl’s Name
Girl: thanks howie. but i already have glasses. for both eyes.
Howie: you dont understand. this monocle can tell me your name. here we go…
Henry: …please be boogerface… please be boogerface…
Howie: …its Louise!
Girl who is called Louise now: Louise. i like it.
Henry: I can work with that! Louise has fleas and smells like cheese.
Louise: i still like it.
Henry: ooh! louise the sneeze has boogerface disease!
Dumb
Magic Fairy Lady: i am so dumb. just cause i got shrunk by a gnome today, i thought that justified getting a Large milkshake. i feel kinda sick.
Miss Gorgon: well, i am so dumb that i thought vampire would change. but he chose to be a jerk. i hope hes happy with his decision.
Vampire: i am so dumb. i made the wrong choice. I shouldve gotten a large.
Louise: i am so dumb! why do i always think of the perfect comeback when its too late?
Henry: I am so dumb! i thought by saving the town i’d offset my mischief forever! but i used a prank to do it, so maybe i broke even? I shouldnt have made fun of library girl.
Louise: HEY! HENRY IMPOLITERGEIST! HA! TAKE THAT!
Howie: I am so dumb! i overheard you taking about finding Von Krieger and i thought you were talking about me.
Skunk-ape: Thats nothing. I am so dumb that i had Von Krieger as a prisoner and i let him go. Anyway, hes gone now and you got that cool monocle that found out that library girls name.
Howie: Thats true. i wonder what else it does?
[SECRET GOVERNMENT FACILITY]
Von Krieger:(looking through the monocle) I am so smart.