Flew the Looking Glass
[Vampire grabs mirror]
Vampire: I believe this belongs to me! Now, let’s get out of here!
Howie: We can’t leave yet! They’re going to shrink hundreds of humans into gnomes! We’ve got to stop them!
Vampire: Humans? Not my problem.
Howie: With hundreds of gnomes beneath the city, imagine how much stuff they’ll steal!
Vampire: Still don’t care.
Howie: Imagine how much of your stuff they’ll steal!
Vampire: We’ve got to stop them!
Quadruple Facepalm
Miss Gorgon: They’ve been down there a long time. i hope they’re- Professor! what are you doing here?
Professor: I came to find the entrance of the gnome tunnels. I collated data on all the unexplained thefts over the last decade and plotted them on a map. Then, a few hours later i had created a complex formula that determined this to be the point of origin! er… how did you find it?
Miss Gorgon: Followed Howie. He knew where it was.
[Professor face palms with all four of his hands]
Gettin’ Diggy With It
Professor: Hey, they’re back! er… sort of.
Miss Gorgon: what…
Vampire: long story. right now, we have to make a broadcast.
Gnome: Last stop before we reach the human world. if anyone needs to go to the bathroom go now. wait, is that–
Vampire speaking through mirror: hello gnomes. if you can hear this, you have 5 minutes to meet us topside before i start digging and your tunnels start collapsing. no rush.
E-gnome-ous!
Vampire: Aw, you made it in time, what a shame. sure yo didnt leave the stove on?
Gnome: what do you want?
Vampire: well, for a start you can make Howie and Skunk-ape full size again.
Gnome: But i dont know how!
Vampire: oh, in that case i’d better start digging.
Gnome: No! wait! i’ll give it a try!
[Howie and Skunk-ape are now enormous]
Vampire: Wow! you really suck at magic.
The Box and String Method
Howie: hey, skunk-ape, whatcha doin?
Skunk-ape: trying to catch lunch.
Howie: maybe you are not using the right bait.
Skunk-ape: maybe you’re right. But im so hungry.
Howie: Well, its a good thing i brought you this sandwich.
Skunk-ape: ooh, thanks.
[sandwich is now in box]
Skunk-ape: he’s going for is! good thinking howie!
The Chase and Catch Method
Skunk-ape: catching a squirrel is a game of cat and mouse and i am one crafty mouse!
Howie: I thought you’d be the cat in that analogy.
Skunk-ape: how could i be the cat? then there’d be two cats and no mouse to play cat and mouse with!
[both are running the other way]
Howie: Why is the squirrel chasing us now?
Skunk-ape: i got confused, okay?
The Hole in the Tree Method
Skunk-ape: see, the squirrel tries to take the acorn from the hole, but he cant pull out his paws when they’re clenched, and hes too stupid to let go! then its just a simple matter of walking up and… oh no! the hole was too big!
[Skunk-ape reaches into hole in tree]
Skunk-ape: Gottem! now i’ll just… uh oh.
Howie: Skunk-ape let go of the squirrel
Skunk-ape: No! think of something else! and soon, because hes biting me.
The Tag and Release Method
Skunk-ape holding radar: the professor gave me this radar thingy to track squirrels. everytime i cathc one thats too small, i tag it and wait till its big enough to eat. found one! this way!
Howie: how long ago did you tag this one?
Skunk-ape: about 20 years.
Howie: thats… a long time.
Skunk-ape: yeah. it must be huge by now! maybe thats why the dots not moving, cause its too heavy.
Howie: yeeeaah, maybe…
The Shake a Tree Method
Skunk-ape: Squirrels are excellent climbers and will often run up a tree to evade capture.
Howie: how do you get them down?
Skunk-ape: easy, just shake tree till the squirrel falls out.
Howie: you’re forgetting something.
Skunk-ape: what?
Howie: we live in a monster town.
Tree monster shaking Skunk-ape: you dont like that? what made you think i would?!
Skunk-ape: Woah!