Monsterhood

Henry: After you ran off, i got bored so i thought i’d go to the cafe and throw some coffee around… after it’d cooled down, of course. you know, classic Henry Poltergeist material. Of course they don’t serve coffee to kids , so i needed a new disguise.
Howie: You bought a suit? Wasn’t that expensive?
Henry: Relax… it may have already paid for itself.
Invisible man: Two hundred lottery tickets please!

Howie: Henry you have to tell Miss Gorgon the truth!
Henry: I can’t! Miss Gorgon would hate me forever and i’d be on pots and pans duty even longer!
Howie: Then have your invisible man break up with her!
Henry: No way… she was so taken with him that she’d be heartbroken.
Girl: What if her prince were suddenly Less charming…?
Henry: That could work but i only know how to be mischievous. I’ll have to be a complete jerk to pull this off.
[Howie and Henry at Vampire’s front door]
Vampire: What kind of consultant?

Vampire: Impressive.
Henry as invisible man: Thank you.
Vampire: This will be tricky. if you’re too much of a jerk she might try to slap him and give the game away. Not enough of a jerk and she might think she can change him. Pop quiz, hotshot! Picnic by the lake, she wants a kiss. do you say her breath smells or smoosh cake in her face?
Henry: Uh… Cake?
Vampire: Wrong! you push her in the lake and tell her it was an accident!
Henry: But that wasn’t one of the opti–
Vampire: Jerks don’t play by the rules!

Henry: So i’ll see you by the lake, right?
Howie: No way. you and Vampire can handle this by yourselves. I still think you should tell Miss Gorgon the truth. Besides, tonight’s a full moon. a public place would be the perfect spot for Vampire to expose me as a fake werewolf.
Henry: Riiight. You’re going back to the library to see that girl aren’t you?
Howie: I don’t know what you mean. Besides, it’s after five. the library is closed. so there.
[Howie struggling to climb into the After Hours Returns chute]

Miss Gorgon: A stroll on the boardwalk was a great idea.
Invisible Man: They sure got the bored part right.
Miss Gorgon: Brr. I’m cold.
Invisible Man: You should have worn a big jacket like me. I’m actually too warm.
Miss Gorgon: Aw, look at the cute little ducks–
Invisible Man: Fly away ducks! Quack Quack Quack!
Miss Gorgon: Maybe this wasn’t such a great idea.
Invisible Man: Success! er… i mean… if that’s how you feel.

Invisible man: What can i say? it’s just who i am. i’m no good. I’m a bad egg. i’m trouble with a capital T.
Miss Gorgon: Well at least your spelling has improved Henry.
Invisible man: Thanks, Miss– uh-oh.
Vampire: Henry Poltergeist! what are you doing under this bridge where i found you just now?
Henry: Aw, come on!

Henry: You Knew? All this time? How?
Miss Gorgon: I saw you buying the suit.
[EARLIER THAT DAY]
Magic Fairy Lady: Hey, he’s kinda cute.
Miss Gorgon: He’s a mannequin.
Magic Fairy Lady: Minor detail.
Miss Gorgon: Is that Henry? ‘When that suit came into the cafe with no-one wearing it, i knew i’d be wearing a latte if i didn’t think of something fast.’
Henry: So you played with that poor invisible man’s heart just to teach me a lesson? MISS GORGON.
Miss Gorgon: HE WAS A WALKIE-TALKIE IN A HAT!

Henry: I’m so sorry , Miss Gorgon. But if you knew the whole time, why didn’t you tell me?
Miss Gorgon: I wanted to know if you’d stop once there were feelings involved. I needed to know if you cared more about people than pranks otherwise, with your power, we’re all in a lot of trouble.
Henry: Don’t worry Miss Gorgon. I saw my future today, and i want to make sure that i never become that guy. Oh, No offence Vampire.
Vampire: I stopped listening when you started apologising.

Howie: Hellooooo?
Girl: Up here! on the roof!
Howie: wow! a garden!
Girl: Do you like it? i mean, it won’t make the papers with a giant pumpkin like you. But maybe this could be a turnip for the books!
Howie: Ha ha! Wait, that was more wordplay, right?
Girl: Yes.
Howie: Oh, good, because it’s a pretty small turnip.

Howie: I’m not sure how to say this… I’d love to come up with some wordplay of my own bust i’m just not that clever… but i guess what i’m trying to say is i really, really like…
[Howie leans over to grab a flower and turn around to find out the girl is a werewolf because it’s a full moon]
Howie: …Anthrope?!