Monsterhood

Howie: Henry, cut it out! You’ll get us in trouble!
Henry: Nuh-uh. the librarian’s on lunch.
Howie: Then who…
[Howie sees girl through bookshelf]
Howie: uh… hello?
[Girl runs away]
Howie: Wait! Henry, did you see that girl?
Henry: Forget it, she wouldn’t be interested.
Howie: So you did see her?
Henry: No, but I’ve seen you.
Howie:
Henry:

Skunk-ape: A human girl? Are you Sure?
Howie: yep! and she’s pretty and smart and… i mean, yeah, i human girl.
Skunk-ape: Ooh! Somebodies got a crush! Somebodies got a crush!
Howie: Yeah, well, maybe i do. But even so, there’s a human girl out there who’s scared and alone, and Henry and I are going to find her. So, no jokes please, this is a serious operation.
[Henry puts on fake glasses, nose and mustache]
Henry: Ready to go?

Howie: Wow. this library is so big and understaffed. it’s easy to see why no ones ever found you.
Girl: how is it that you have found me, kind sir?
Howie: Well, i am a great explorer. And you may call me Howie.
Girl: I called you kind sir because you are my kind.
Howie: your kind? oh, because we’re both…? i get. do you always talk like that.
Girl: A child must find joy in wordplay, when words are all she has to play with! I mean… “with which she has to play!” The shame, ending a sentence so clumsily! you must think me a monster!
Howie: Not at all.

Miss Gorgon: *sigh* sometimes i think there are no decent men left in this town.
Magic Fairy Lady: Tell me about it. Some days i think about magicking a shop mannequin into a husband. But, you… you’re so pretty! you must get plenty of attention!
Miss Gorgon: Sure… but it’s the plastic surgery they see, not me. I’d just like a man who can see through all that superficial stuff.
Invisible man: Hello, ladies. is this seat taken?
Magic Fairy Lady: Oh, look at the time. I’d better fly.

Miss Gorgon: So how did you become in visible?

Invisible man: I was just out of college. i was hired to work on a top secret project to turn people transparent. but i learned the government planned on using my research to create invisible super soldiers! I tried to back out but they threatened to kill me if i didn’t stay and perfect the formula! So, instead i used it on myself and escaped to this town. Now i walk the earth like a shadow of a man, little more than a ghost.

Miss Gorgon: Uh-huh. so you’re well educated and highly employable! what about kids? You like kids?

Miss Gorgon: I wish i knew what you looked like… oh! i know, i’ll put this chocolate powder on your face!
Invisible man: No!
Miss Gorgon: Oh, how stupid of me! the reason i liked you in the first place was because i knew looks wouldn’t be so important. You’re right, i should try to see you with my heart, not with my eyes.
Invisible man: Well, yeah, that… and then there’s the fact that, invisible or not, no one likes foodstuffs thrown at their face! wait… you… LIKE me?

Invisible man: Erm… i guess i’ll see you tonight then.
Miss Gorgon: It’s a date!
[Miss Gorgon leaves]
[clothes fall to the ground and radio falls out of hat]
[Henry comes out while holding radio]
Henry: I think i’ve gone too far this time.

Girl: With the orphanage right next to the library, i figure my parents just left me at the wrong door. i like living here but obviously i’d be more well-adjusted if i just lived one building over.
Henry: Howie! you gotta help me! I accidentally made Miss Gorgon fall in fall in love with a talking hat!
Howie: I think you’re doing ok.