Howie: You made sure that any attempt to change history didn’t work… but then you go and do THIS?!
I thought you were trying to PROTECT the timeline!
Unicorn: Don’t you SEE? That’s what I’ve done! By ending the world EARLY, I stop the greatest threat to history that ever was… ME.
The world would have ended anyway… the outcome is the same. The timeline is safe.
My work… is done.
Howie: But you brought the end of the world FORWARD… doesn’t that CUT OUT a chunk of history?
Unicorn: Meh. You didn’t miss much.
Unicorn: Oh, except the iPhone 5.
Oh man. That thing was AMAZING. You can’t even IMAGINE.