Howie: How do you sleep at night?
Vampire: I tend to sleep during the day.
Howie: But you must toss and turn in your bed with guilt.
Vampire: I don’t have a bed… I sleep in a coffin.
Howie: Well, then how do you live with yourself?
Vampire: I’m undead. Technically I don’t live at all.
Howie: I guess what I’m asking is… don’t you have a CONSCIENCE?
Vampire: (turns into a bat.) Nope. Don’t forget to tip the waitress.