Vampire: You should really think about becoming a vampire.
Howie: No, thanks.
Vampire: Why not?
Howie: For a start, i don’t want to grow fangs.
Vampire: I think of it as ‘orthodontic enhancement’.
Howie: And i don’t want to sleep during the day.
Vampire: we call it ‘enjoying the night life’
Howie: Then there’s the fact you have to DIE to become a vampire.
Vampire: There is some MINOR soul dislodgement, yes…