(In the North Pole, Santa Claus is heading for the Sleigh Launchpad. He’s startled by a sound behind him– an elf running to catch up dragging a wagon with various office supplies, an action figure and a potted plant.)
Elf: Mr Claus! Mr. Claus! Wait up, Mr. Claus!
Elf: I’m Elf 2 458 987! I’m your new assistant!
(Santa shakes his hand vigorously.)
Santa: Great to meet you! Ready to hit the skies?
(The confused elf holds up a daily calendar. Only the last page has not been torn out. It reads December 31 with a circled to do item: Buy new calendar.)
Elf 2 458 987: Uh… Santa? It’s New Year’s Eve… Christmas Eve was last week.
(Santa produces a black eye mask from his beard and begins putting it on.
Santa: Christmas may have come and gone… but bad guys are out there every day… so when I’m not delivering presents, I’m delivering justice. I’m… Secret Santa!
Elf 2 458 987: (Sarcastically.) Wow. Great disguise. No-one will guess it’s really Santa Claus under that tiny mask.
Santa: (Annoyed.) Let’s just get ready for launch.
(Comet, a reindeer, appears, wearing headphones.)
Comet: Lunch? But we just had dinner!
Santa: (Shouting.) Comet! I said launch, not– Take. Off. Those. Headphones!
Comet: What’s that, Boss? I can’t hear you with these headphones on.
Next issue: New Toys for Santa!